The Mixed Tape

The Mixed Tape by Jack's Mannequin
When I was up in Logan, We had a quote wall. It was fantastic. Here's most of the quotes from it.

"Charlie Brown is a cartoon character who's never gotten action in his life." -Tim Kerns

“What would Jesus do? Jesus would answer the phone.” –Stacy Lynch

“I substitute eating for never sleeping.” –Mike, the waiter at the Ogden IHOP

“That’s why men need women.” –Ashlee Underwood Nielsen

“Hookers can fall in love.” –Stacy (while watching Pretty Woman.)

“And with our forces combined, anyone can beat us!” –Eric Jeffs

“Why did you make an ashtray in sacrament meeting?” –Ross Nelson

“Tony LOLed me..” –Stacy
“Ew..” –Jacki Thompson

“Jake, you’re rubbing my leg.” –Jason Reese
"JAKE! You're Rubbing My Leg!!!" -Jason, five minutes later.

“Happiest place on earth… only ‘cause there’s meth in the air.” –Tim (talking about Disneyland)

“We should go so they can get to their boys.” –Stacy’s dad
“Maybe their boys don’t want to get with them tonight.” –Stacy’s mom

“I can see why college students resort to fornication. There’s nothing else to do!” –Jon Miller

“Can we please watch Titanic?” –Chris LeCates

“Oh baby stop!” -Jacki
“Pretty sure if that was a sexual reference it wouldn’t be stop.” –Ashlee

“Could you guys please stop laughing? It’s distracting.” –Ross

“This is a really cool picture, huh? –James Ford
“Yeah. If you’re Satan.” –Ian Binks

“Wroth- that’s like 'Ross' with a lisp!” –Stacy

“You should come bounce on my bed sometime.” –Jacki

“You look like one hot Mama!” –Jordan Monroe

“… and I’d wrestle a wild boar!” –Jason
“What about wild whores?” –Eric

“We’re like a jukebox!” –Kelly Christianson

“I think the weather has A.D.D.” –Stacy

“I hopped off IHOP… twice.” –Mike, the waiter

“Everyone in my apartment is crazy! Tim cooks sausage. Jon reads about sex.” –Brian Pincock (Jon was reading his psychology book.)

“We. Have. Foo-duh.” –Jacki and Stacy

“Something can be awkward without being sexual.” –Moe Smith
“It’s just very rare.” –James

“You know how much cooler I would be… if I was from Brooklyn?” –Brian

“Heidi’s world is becoming upset. Her raspberries are ovaries and her peas are fruit.” –Kelly

“Hit me.” –Jacki

“Jacki, you are going to Hell.” –Eric

“I have a prescription to popular science magazine.” –Jaron Newman

“I like to feel my phalanges.” –Moe

“You’re one of those friendly Elmo-type menaces.” –Ben

“My cuticles are numb.” –Stacy

“Hop the boarder and run to Vegas.” –Josh Marchant

“You good? You stable?” –Tim
“No.” –Ashlee
“Ok.” –Tim

“You’re like a freaking boy scout.” –Stacy

“I’d rather not be your bra.” –Jacki
“That’s a little awkward.” –Courtney Twitchell

“Have you seen my monkey?” –Jacki
“It is a valid question.” –Ben

“The quote wall hates me.” –Moe

“To dry unwashed hair… why would you need to do that? It’s already dry.” –Josh

“I need to study for life. I’m failing!” –Kelly

“Wow! Those are some big…. boots.” –James (while watching Phantom of the Opera.)

“I love you too, baby. I love you too.” –Brian to Tim

“Blue is generally not a healthy color for a human. –Stacy

“Ew! Yuck! What is she wearing?” –Courtney
“A dead snow leopard.” –Stacy

“I think that would suck giving birth to a unicorn.” –Stacy

“That was gorgeful.” –Brother Hopkins

“I’d rather share pants with Jacki than have a cat in my pants.” –Josh

“Run Forrest.” –Moe
“Shut up, jerk!” –Tim

“Our friends are retarded.” –Lindsay

“He sounded out of breath when I called him.” –James
“He had to come up for air.” –Jaron

“I swear- the world is turning the boys retarded.” –Stacy

(Knock Knock) “Come in! Ha ha.. They can’t.” –Stacy

“Jacki! You just had a Morgan moment!” –Stacy

“You are deficient!” –Brian

“Whoa! Jane exploded!” –Stacy

“I am possibly the most brilliant person I have ever met. You know why? Because I am an idiot!” –Brian

“Well, what other way is there to cook a microwave?” –Ian

“The demons were trying to get into my… nevermind.” –Tim

“Do you guys mind if we change to ‘Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader’? I want to see how dumb I am today.” –Kelly

“No one goes to school in Mexico.” –Ross

“It’s like a big, clear noodle.” –Moe

“I can’t see your stunning features.” –Jaron

“I’m laying between three guys.” –Jacki
“Dang, you’re lucky!” –Moe
“Wanna switch spots?” –Jacki

“Nothing’s wrong with me except my knees are made of liquid dookie.” –Shane Earl

“Tim, you hold hands weird.” –James (while holding hands with Tim, playing a game)

“If you weren’t getting married we wouldn’t have dirty minds.” –Stacy
“Yeah right.” –Jacki

“What was that?”-Stacy
“That was a gleeful chuckle.” –Jacki

“We’re feeling a little alto-ish today.” – A Tenor
“Not sure if we want to go there..” –Brother Hopkins

“I’m going to give up on Jessie tonight.” –Ashlee
“Oh. I thought you were going to say something about Bon Jovi.” –Stacy

“Coo-Coo-Ka-Chew!... That means pass..” –Landon Frost

"Ask me if I just tripped up the stairs?"- Ross
"Did you just trip up the stairs?" -Stacy & Jacki
"Yes I did. Now ask me how I felt about it." -Ross
"How did you feel about it?" Stacy & Jacki
"Like an Idiot!" -Ross

(Holding a plastic pumpkin) "I kind of want to stick my head in this..." -Tim
"You can't, your head's too big." -Stacy

"You say sorry too much." -Eric
"I'm sor-" -Stacy