Oh Deer!

So, this morning, there was a baby deer chilling in our backyard. Such a cute and tiny little thing...we went to work and came back, and Baby brought Mommy!
They were in our backyard all day. Just hanging out, eating raspberries and flowers, dogwood leaves.
That's about it for today. My sciatic nerve is being mean to me again...but I'm hoping that doesn't last long.
My Tim got his mission call!! He's going to Tacoma, Washington as well. He leaves in October. Sunday was Ryan Jones's farewell. He gave a good talk. Also on Sunday I went to Ogden and had lunch/dinner with some family. Me and my cousin Kevin had a grand time hanging out. We talked and laughed. We think we're hilarious so we laugh a lot. Well, I've got to go now. Until next time!

Music is My Life.

Well, I'm sitting here at work being pretty bored and need to take a break from feeding my weird fascination with Ghost Hunters; I decided to write on here and give some of the background/meaning stories to some of the songs on my play-list here. I won't share all of them, or all of the story(s). So-here you go:

• Looking For Angels-Skillet: My ex-boyfriend, David, introduced me to Skillet one night before we started dating with the song "Yours to Hold" and I instantly fell in love with the song, and the music group. Upon further exploration I ran into "Looking For Angels" and realized how much truth is in the song. People, whether they know it or not, are looking for angels in life. The whole song has poetic lyrics and I love it.
• Lost- Michael Buble: While I am a fan of Michael in general, this song I particularly love. Especially the chorus. "You are not alone, I'm always there with you....cause when you feel like you're done, and the darkness has won, babe you're not lost. When your world's crashing down, and you cannot bear the thought, I said babe, you're not lost." The whole song hits a chord, but that part of the chorus says it.
• February Song- Josh Groban: I love the beautiful calming and empowering of Josh Grobans beautiful voice, and while I couldn't find "So She Dances" this song is close in the runnings. It kind of just says: "Even if I'm not myself, I don't want to let you down, I'll come back. I don't want to let my friends and loved ones down, so don't worry if I slip-I'll be back." I went though a period for a couple months where I wasn't myself, and people could tell. I was listening to this song and it totally fit with everything that I was unknowingly thinking and feeling. The "old friend" in the song being me and I was lost in a February Song of sorts of my own .... as the song said-I promise you, I'll come back to you. And I did.
  
• Collide-Howie Day: This song was the last song that was played at the Christmas Dance my senior year. I went with a very good and special friend of mine, Joe. I've always remembered this song and connected it with him and all the times we had before he went on his mission (hang outs, all nighters, parties, conversations, confession sessions) and lyric lines in this song fit with us and our friendship as well.
• Vulnerable- Secondhand Serenade: I hate being vulnerable...but I love deep conversations. So, there are many times where I find myself talking with a friend and we both reach a new level in conversation where we find ourselves confiding in the other things we didn't plan on, or didn't know were even there. Both feeling extremely vulnerable but taking the chance.
  
• I'm Not Okay (I Promise)- My Chemical Romance: This song is just a good song when you're not okay. It says it through the whole song. It says "I'm Okay" and "I'm Not Okay". Trying to tell the world you're okay, but then slipping in-no really....I'm not okay. Me and my friend Heidi (who introduced me to the beauty of this song on the way up to Logan one day when neither of us was okay) and so when we need each other, all we have to text the other one is "I'm Not Okay." and then we know that something is seriously wrong.
• Where You Lead, I Will Follow-Carole King & Louise Goffin: Also known as the theme song for "Gilmore Girls". Very true for all my friends. If they need me-I'll do anything I can to be there. "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"- Death Cab For Cutie: It has the same meaning to it.
• Let Me Be Myself- 3 Doors Down: Kind of the same as "February Song". Getting lost in a person that isn't you. People expecting you to be someone you're not as they've seen you as someone else. Getting so absorbed and tired of being that person. And just wanting to be yourself, and being able to shine as who you are. "Car Crash" by Matt Nathanson is like the after work of this song for me. Once you've come back and finding the exhilaration of coming back. And having your true friends embrace you and just wanting to live life because in a sense you've felt dead compared to what you're feeling now. Just breaking free and living.
  
• Riverdance- Bill Whelan: Duh...does this need explanation?? Okay, well, I'm Irish. I dance. I love it. There you go. I dance to this song in my hardshoes and it's a total blast.
• For Good-Wicked: I sent out a text to some friends with the question of "If you could dedicate one song to me, what would it be?" And my friend Bailey answered back with this song. Another one contributed was "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder.
  
• Boston-Augustana: I have this odd fascination with Boston. I've never been there...but I've wanted to go East. This song I think sparked my inner drive to go East. The thought of going somewhere for a fresh start always sounds appealing.
• Faithfully-Journey: My friend Drew said he was going to serenade me with this song. He also self-appointed himself as my fiance. He always made me feel special. I can't explain all the ways how. Coming up behind me in band or in the hallway and putting his arms around me. Wrapping me in a blanket with him on a cold day. Skipping A.P. Statistics to hear me play a musical selection in seminary. It seems he always had the same greeting for me, "Hello beautiful, how are you today?"
• Broken- Lifehouse: This was/is still kind of my theme song for a long time. Somehow, some people think this song is depressing...which it really is-I'll give you that. But only to an extent. "I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing. With a broken heart, that's still beating." Come on, yeah, that's depressing...but listen to the next line! "In the pain, there is healing. In your name, I find meaning. So I'm holding on. I'm holding on. I'm holding on. I'm barely holding on to you." No matter how broken you may seem...there's still hope. There's going to be that one person you hold onto. Where in no matter how down, depressed, broken and lost you may seem-there's still that line of hope. "I'm hanging on another day, just to see what you will throw my way. And I'm hanging on to the words you say. You said that I will be okay."
• Hero/Heroine- Boys Like Girls: Shortly after moving home from Logan, I went out with my Morgan. We went to a concert and then were in his room, laying on his bed just talking. There was music playing on his computer and then this song came on, and he said it fit for us, for that night.
• Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol: I'm not quite sure why, or how...but this song I've always connected with my Colton. And the more I listen to it, the more it seems to fit. One night in his backyard, us plus Elise just laid on the grass and looked at the stars. Spending half the time not even really saying anything. Forgetting everything. Colton and I have great plans to go to Ireland when he gets back from his mission.
• Swing Life Away- Rise Against: Secrets, secrets...teehee. This song kind of has double meaning. One story, I won't really share. But the other one I will, my old roommate Jacki and I loved to drive. Many Saturdays we'd venture to Idaho...for no reason. We both love this song, and it kind of fits with our age group-ish too.
• Lullaby (Goodnight My Angel)- Billy Joel: As I mentioned, sleep is kind of hard sometimes. And I love this song! It's so relaxing and kind of just gives you warm fuzzies inside. After I listen to this song, I am relaxed and can get calm enough to sleep.

So, as you can tell, music is my life. Or at least I can relate music to many events/people in my life. As you've notice, I did not share some songs or some stories, deal with it. Some stories I won't. But you got these ones, in case you were curious about some of the songs on my list. And to give me something else to do at work. I'll keep updated on them and make additions and such. "Where words fail, music speaks." "Music takes you to a whole other world where everything seems perfect." "Music makes the world make sense." Music puts things into words that I never can say." Some of my favorite music quotes. Until next time...

The Days of Yesteryear

Well, it is past midnight on Saturday night (technically Sunday morning) and guess what I did today... Nothing. Pretty much. I sat and looked at pictures, listened to meaningful songs, watched movies, re-read old journals and writings. (Oh-and I baked a German Oatmeal Cake.)
Then I got really depressed and nostalgic for some of the "good old days". Not all of them though...just some of them. And some I didn't even want the whole day, just parts of them. Some of the most craptastic days I have lived through had some of the best endings. You know, the days where you wonder, "What the heck happened today??" Wishing it was all a dream but know that it wasn't. And then that one person you secretly know you need is the one that literally walks though the door, or knocks on your window, or calls you. Who provides you with the saving grace you've been silently wishing for all day. And somehow- everything else fades away and the rest of the world doesn't matter because you're safe now. Encircled in protective, caring arms. You know the saying, "You don't really know what you have until it's gone. . ." well that saying is so true. But with that continued absence, comes the realization of impending, anticipated reunion. For each day you spend apart from a person(s) brings you one day closer to the next time you'll see them again. Wow...that was quite unintentionally poetic. Alright, moving on:
I've been having a hard time sleeping lately, or once I fight to get to sleep-I can't stay asleep. So I've taken to listening to lullaby-ish songs which may sound lame, but I've found some I really like. They'll just pop into my head when I'm trying to sleep, so here's some (in no particular order of favoritism.) and if you have suggestions-I'd like to hear them.

1. "Lullaby" By Josh Groban
   
2. "Goodnight My Angel" By Billy Joel
3. "Lullaby" By Shawn Mullins

Also, here are some of my new favorite quotes that I really like and have kind of been clinging to/living by the past little bit I have no idea who said them or where they came from. But I love them:

• "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
• "All you really need is that one person to trust, that one person you know will always tell you, 'Everything will be alright. . .' and somehow, for some reason, you always believe them."

Well, I suppose I should try the whole sleep thing. Good Night.

It's official...

I am enrolled in the Renaissance School of Massage Therapy! I start on August 4. I am way excited about it.
Last night I went boating with some neighbors and my parents, it was fun. I was actually able to get up on my knees knee boarding. That was an accomplishment.
Tonight there will be all sorts of festivities in my backyard-well, not all sorts...but there will be fire, Mallows, Starburst, and fun (of course). Hopefully it all goes well. I have no idea who's coming or how many people will be there, but it will be a party none-the-less.
My school of Irish Dance will no longer be Crawford...we're combining and taking the name of "An Daire Academy". An Daire is a school based out of Portland, Oregon. Apparently they're amazing, and hopefully more of our wants/needs will be satisfied by combining with them.

Blind Follower

It's Saturday...Yesterday felt like Saturday because I didn't do anything...so now I get two Saturdays. I'm okay with that.
Wednesday the world was totally on my side. I was just about on empty-the gas light was going to go off any time. I decided to go to work, I'd get paid that day, and then I could deposit my check into my bank and then fill up. I hit all green lights all the way to work. I get to work and Larry (The guy I was working for) asked me to follow him up to Logan because he had to take the trailer up for the car show. He said he'd pay for my gas, and buy me food. Sweet I love to drive and I had wanted to drive somewhere for a while, so this was perfect. So I did. The break lights and turn signals on the trailer didn't work, and it wasn't registered. So I was a blind driver the whole way up to Logan (I didn't know where in Logan we were going, and with no signals...it was interesting, but fun.) Either way, I got a free full tank of gas-and a free meal at the FireHouse.
My appointment and the Renaissance School of Massage Therapy went really well, I got a really good feeling about that place. I liked it a lot. They're giving me the weekend to think about it and they'll call me on Monday to get my decision.

Summer Nights, Happenings...and parties.

Alright, a recent thing...Stacy is not going back to Utah State. Weird, Shocking, yes...but it just doesn't feel right. So I am going to take a stab at massage therapy! It's always kind of been a thought and I had it as a plan B anyways. Thursday I have an appointment with the Renaissance School of Massage Therapy and we'll see how that goes. It's in Bountiful so it's close and I won't have to move. And I'll be done with school soon and can move on with my life. And they don't make you take ridiculous generals that we all know and hate. So I'm feeling really good about my decision.
I think I might be addicted to Step Dancing...now I know you're probably thinking, "That's nothing new." Oh I beg to differ...it is. Before I was just in love with Dance...now it's become a bigger part of who I am (If that is possible). I dance like everyday...for long periods of time. Hardshoe mostly. Last week I did quite the number on my heel, I couldn't wear shoes for a couple days. (Which put me out of dance for a couple days, tragic I know.) Sunday I was hardshoing in my garage for over 30 mins without much of a break, and I finally took a break and was drinking some water when I couldn't swallow anymore and threw up a little. It was mostly water-no worries. And I'm totally fine, it just surprised me. I've never done that before...
Ok, so last night I was hanging out (as is customary for me, and completely necessary for my sanity). When the thought came to me...party. Or more specifically, Parties. Good crap, the last party I went to was like two weeks ago! So, Tuesday, I'm planning a party with my friend, Lex. And hopefully that will work out. Campfire, games, music...and then, before we all part ways again for various reasons, School, Work, Missions, etc...a party that will be unlike any we've thrown/attended. An elegant party. How many times do you get the chance to dress up all fancy and get all dolled up? Not often...probly the last time I got the chance to do anything of the sort was for Senior Ball. Dude, I get excited over small and simple things, we know this...but I'll say it anyways...I am so excited for it!